What to write about? Taxis? IVs? Or perhaps getting discovered? Well, I have some time this morning so I will write about them all.

Being Discovered.

When I started this blog, I wanted to stay anonymous. I didn’t really want anyone to know who I was. Unfortunately, that didn’t last too long because some friends of mine found this blog and recognized me right away.

My last blog, while far from popular, was still seen by enough people to make it very difficult to write about the things that I wanted to. My friends knew about it, my family knew about it and more importantly even some of my clients knew about it. It started to be more trouble than it was worth to dance around all of the things I wanted to write about. So I closed that blog and started this one.

I am not upset about my friends knowing about the site, mostly I just want to keep my real name/ old blog name out of the Internet. So if you could kindly avoid using my real name (first name is fine) and my old blog name, I would really appreciate it. I like my new home here and I don’t want to give it up just yet. :)

Taxis.

One of the main ways I get around my new home town is by taxi. Taxis are everywhere here. And more importantly, they are cheap. Not nearly as cheap as busses, but still cheap.

The people that wait for taxis like to play a game. They will approach the street where they want to get a taxi and they will notice others waiting for taxis as well. You know that they see you because they are constantly looking at you over their shoulder. Instead of doing the polite thing and getting behind the person who is already waiting there, they will walk 10 to 15 feet down the road in front of you and try to flag down a taxi.

This causes what I like to call, Taxi Leapfrog. If I see some rude person stand just a few feet in front of me in order to get a taxi before me, I will just walk a few feet past them to do the same thing. Surprisingly, this seems to make them upset as they think they are the only ones allowed to jump in front of other people who had already been waiting.

So they will in turn Leapfrog over me to once again stand in front of me in order to get a taxi before me. This is when my normal polite, calm self goes away on vacation. I will normally once again get in front of that person, but this time I will put myself just a few inches in front of them. And I will give them a look that goes beyond all language barriers. They know, without a doubt that if they jump in front of me again, I will show them just how ugly Americans can get. :)

Most of the time the person who was playing Taxi Leapfrog with me will then give up and walk away to find another location to wait for a taxi. The ones that don’t will give an apology and wait their turn for a taxi.

IVs.

It is amazing how much this country (and Asia in general) depends on IVs. If you have a cold, you get an IV. If you have a fever, you get an IV. If you have a bad hair day, you get an IV.

The other week I had a really bad case of food poisoning thanks to some really nasty black pepper sauce. Which is a pity because I love black pepper sauce. Anyway, I was in and out of the hospital for 3 days. And each time I went into the hospital I would be given a room and have several gallons of IVs pumped into me.

After 3 days and about 4 visits to the hospital, I stopped counting after almost 20 different IV were hooked up to me. The good news is that they really did work and I feel that I am part of the living again, but it was just kind of strange how in one weekend I got more IVs than I did in all of my life up to that point.

So if you are sick in Asia, be prepared for IVs. Be prepared for a lot of them.

Labels: china, discovered, food poisoning, friends, iv, taxi

In my past I have dated women from all over the world. Germany, Italy, France, England, Ireland, Mexico, US, Canada, Brazil, Argentina, Costa Rica, Spain, Singapore, Russia, Taiwan, Philippines, Thailand, Hong Kong, South Korea, Nigeria, Chad, South Africa and China plus a few others that I am sure that I forgot. White, Black, Brown, Yellow and every color in between. It is fair to say that I absolutely love the female form in all of its diversity.

However, after all of those women, each of which had their points of beauty and femininity, Chinese women are my favorite so far. From their petite bodies, to their long black hair, to the shape of their face, to the grace of their walk. Chinese women, for me, are the ultimate women when it comes to sheer beauty.

I could go on and talk about their manners and personalities, but that is another subject for another time. This post is just about the beauty of the average Chinese woman.

And since I am living here in China, I have to say that the vast amount of eye candy that I am exposed to every day is just overwhelming. You would think that it would get old after a while. You would think that I would tire of seeing these beautiful women every day. But the truth is that I don't. The truth is that it brings me happiness every day. It gives me a reason to wake up in the morning.

Here in China, seeing beautiful women is no harder than opening your eyes. They are everywhere. The average Chinese woman is more gorgeous than 85% of the women in any other country. (Please send your hate email to: IHateJoeChina@NotGoingToAnswerYou.com)

So much eye candy. So little time. I know that I should be ashamed of my watching women the way I do, but I am not. Beauty, if not appreciated, is wasted. And I would not want beauty to go to waste. Would you?

Labels: beauty, china, eye candy, women

Did you ever have the feeling that big things are right on verge of happening?

That is the way that I feel today. I can almost see what is coming down the road at me and I am not entirely sure it is going to be a good thing in the short term. In the long term, I know it will be a great thing, but for now I am facing it with mixed emotions.

What ever happens, stay tuned. I guarantee you it will be more interesting than watching yet another car chase down the 405.

Labels: 405, car chase, feelings

Me: Hello, my name is Joe China and I am a Stat-o-holic.

Crowd of bloggers: Hello Joe.

Leader: Tell us your story Joe.

Me: I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't focus on work. All I do all day is click the damn refresh button on my stats page. How can I make this madness stop? (Btw, I have refreshed that damn page 3 times since I started writing this.)

Crowd of bloggers: Yawn... Not even blogworthy.

Statcounting company: Woohoo! Banner impressions just shot up by .0001%! We must have a new blogger out there.

Labels: adicted, joe china, stat-o-holic

Today was a good day. It was hot, it was humid and there was a strange smell in the air. But with all of that, it was still a good day.

I have been in my new house for 2 months now and in China for over 5 months. Every day I eat, sleep and live there. But it hasn’t felt like home. I have been feeling like a guest in my own house. I have a maid that cleans everything within an inch of its life. I have a mother in law that cooks everything within an inch of being something that once resembled food. And I have a wife who tries her best to keep me within an inch of sanity.

But today, I made my house my home. With one simple act. I went to the market near my home and purchased bread, jam and peanut butter (the chunky kind, not the wussy smooth stuff). When I got home the first thing I did was make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The simple act of making that sandwich and eating it while sitting on my balcony made me feel like I was home for the first time since I came to China. I tried explaining it to my wife why this was so important an event and I just got a blank stare in return. I was having trouble relating the significance of a piece of food when I was hit with a bolt of insight.

I told her that the making and eating of that sandwich was Conjee (rice soup) for my soul. Clarity filled her face, she smiled softly, kissed me and said, “Welcome home.” Then she left and allowed me to enjoy the moment in peace.

It really is amazing how the simplest of things can tie us to a place, emotion or person. For me, home is where I can make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

What makes home for you?

Labels: china, congee, home, peanut butter and jelly, rice soup

5 months. I can’t believe I have been here for 5 months. It really is amazing how time flies here. So much going on, so many new sights, smells (oh yes, the smells) and sounds. Where do I begin?

I guess I will start where all beginnings seem to start. The beginning.

1 year ago I finally got tired of hearing my wife tell me how she wanted to move from our comfortable Los Angeles home back to her home in Guangzhou, China. I woke up, gently kissed my wife awake and said, “We are moving to China in 6 months. No arguments, no complaining and no excuses. I am going to go take my shower now.”

When I returned to the bedroom after my shower the first thing I noticed is that my lovely wife had not moved a millimeter from the moment I told her my decision. After staring at me blankly for a few minutes her jaw began to move in an effort to say something. This was very unusual since my wife is the type of person who can talk with an ease of effort that makes perpetual motion machines envious.

After several false starts at a sentence she finally found her ground and simply said, “Are you serious?” I said, “Yes”, kissed her once more and headed out the door for work.

6 months later our plane touched down in Guangzhou.

As busy as the previous 6 months had been to get here, the next 5 have been just as busy setting up a life here.

I just put this blog here so I could have a place to write my ideas and observations. A place for me to gather my thoughts to help me make sense of it all. Read along if you like, comment if you feel the need, and wave hello if you see me coming down the street.

Labels: china, guangzhou, life, los angeles